Laid off. 

Deer walked into my car at 60+ miles per hour and smashed up my car. 

Kitten got stuck in tree, went to vet to make sure leg wasn't broken, spent $150 for some pain meds for a sprain. The next week, kitten gets fixed for another $150 or so. Very next day, said kitten goes missing. Best guess, one of the birds of prey in the area snatched her. 

Few months later, kitten's brother gets hit by a car. I'm still pretty sad about that.

One chicken died of unknown causes.

Skates are still too small and rapidly breaking down. Nearest dealer for my brand of skates? Denver.

Dog continues to eat the furniture and cords to various appliances.

That basically describes the last few months. Can't say it was the greatest end to 2016 or the best start to 2017, but there's also been a lot of good too and quite honestly, I have high hopes for the remainder of 2017.

On the plus side, I made friends with a couple who are teaching me hand spinning, plus helping with wool cleaning and selling. I got a part-time job in a local candy store and it's been pretty fun to learn more about candy making. More time has been spent with friends, the puppies, baking, cooking, reading and writing, Finally got around to pitching a few publications I'd been wanting to write for and had one published so far. 

So, the last few months have been trying and challenging in ways, but also a time of growth, the kind you only really experience under fire. It's also been a time to put considerable thought into what we're doing around the minifarm and what I'm doing with my life. 

We're making slow progress with the renovation, M is currently tearing apart the basement after spending months designing plans for plumbing and heating. I'm slowly cleaning clutter from clothes I no longer wear, like or fit into; magazines and other various junk that has piled up over the years. Seeds have been ordered and I've decided I want to focus on heirloom varieties of vegetables, fruit and grains. The wool situation is finally moving along and guys, I bit the bullet and opened an Etsy shop that still needs more attention.

As for the job situation, after the shock and initial emotions wore off, it feels like a blessing in disguise. I was miserable at the paper and people close to me knew it. That's not to say I don't love being a journalist, I definitely still do and the time away has helped me distill an idea I'd been kicking around for years and to finally take the steps to make it happen. 

This last year has been full of challenges and some unpleasantness, but it hasn't been without joy and plenty of things to be grateful for in this season of thanksgiving.

When things aren't going as planned, or feel like they're falling apart, it's so easy to focus on everything that's gone wrong. I've certainly been guilty of that, especially during a few particularly trying situations this year.

But included in those moments of woe is usually opportunity to be reminded of how much we have.

This year I give thanks for:

M. He's basically the best. This week we hit nine months of marriage, and it's pretty great. Sure, we disagree on things and fight sometimes, but at the end of every bad day, I want to be in his arms for a big hug. We've started an adventure together, complete with farm animals and other assorted disasters, but I can't imagine a better partner in crime.

Family. Ours has grown again this year. M and I got married, and my sister had another daughter. They're always the people that no matter how far apart we are and how long it's been since we've seen each other that know me best and are always there when you need them. More importantly, they always remind you where you came from, who you are and who want to me.

Home. Our house has been in a perpetual state of construction and it can be overwhelming, but having a stable home is something to be incredibly grateful for. I spent a lot of time over the last few years writing about the importance of affordable housing and the impact housing has on so many aspects of a person's life. This house will take up so much our time, money and energy over the next few decades, but building a home is entirely worth it.

Pups. I have to admit, Grover is still my favorite, but we've been through a lot together and he's almost seven now. But the other two are pretty great too and even though Gidget eats the furniture and Grover ate yet another pair of my pajama pants last night and Moxie keeps hiding in the bushes and not coming when called, the dogs are always happy to see us come home and quick to show love.

Minifarm + animals. We're a small operation and just learning the ropes, but we're becoming a regular egg supplier to our friends and I have high hopes for the wool from my Leicester Longwool sheep. The chickens are kind of nuts, but I have a deep appreciation for those birds that demand so little of us, but keep us supplied with more than enough eggs for us and our friends. And my sheep, I just love those four fuzzy weirdos. It's a kind of satisfaction I never expected, to be building a life with the potential to provide for ourselves and live a simpler life in conjunction with the 26 acres we live on.

Progress. It seems like these past four years have flown by with little to show for it. Our renovation is no where near complete, we're still designing heating and plumbing systems. Our minifarm still has an incomplete, though fully functional, sheep shelter; the chicken barn isn't quite done; there's huge patches of dirt that we haven't figured out what we want to do with; more than a half ton of hay is still sitting in the sheep trailer. I'm still not en expert baker and not entirely at ease in the kitchen. I still can't do some of the jumps and spins I used to be able to do in figure skates. Honestly, I'm still not entirely sure what I want to do with my life.
But, we've made designs and are inching closer to what we want this house to look like. We've got a fence around seven acres that has room for more sheep and maybe other livestock. I've learned to bake more complicated things and am still learning. I've added more complicated recipes to my routine and can make more of them by memory now. I'm still jumping and spinning and coaching after years off the ice and haven't broken a leg yet (hopefully I didn't just jinx myself).
Nothing is complete and the to-do list is ever growing, but when I feel like we haven't accomplished anything, I remind myself of how much progress we've made. And really, the progress is everything.

What are you thankful for this year?

My favorite soup is one that warms me up, comforts my soul and reminds me of home.

For as long as I can remember, I've always loved beef and barley soup.

I'll admit to eating the Campbell's condensed version for a long time, until I discovered un-condensed versions but those were still canned.

In recent years, I've been on a quest to find the perfect beef and barley soup, ideally one that doesn't come from a can.

In Great Falls, my favorites so far can be found at Bar S and Bert and Ernie's, but I've recently been making my own using a recipe from America's Test Kitchen. Their version calls for mushrooms, tomato paste, parsley and quick-cooking barley. I've tweaked mine some since I hate mushrooms and don't have quick-cooking barley and I use parsley so infrequently that I almost never buy it and often just leave it out.

Their recipe also calls for two tablespoons of tomato paste. I followed the recipe the first time and to us, it was far too tomatoey (I know that's not a word, go with it).

Last time I made it, I cut the tomato paste roughly in half and it was close to perfect.

I'm making it again tonight and am going to try cutting the tomato paste a bit more and see if that leads to perfection. I'll probably experiment with a few other recipes on my search for the perfect beef and barley soup.

Honestly, I can't imagine a more perfect soup for cold, winter nights. It takes time, but it's not particularly tricky and is quite possibly, my most beloved comfort food.

Here's my version of the recipe. Disclaimer, I tend not to follow measurements precisely and do things a bit different every time, so consider this more of a guide than anything. Also, this is designed to serve two people. If you need a larger batch, you can probably multiply accordingly.

Ingredients Blade steak, trimmed and cut into small bites. I tend to use about a pound of meat, or whatever is in the grocery store pack. I've also done this with other types of beef and will likely be trying it with chuck roast tonight.

Salt and pepper

Vegetable oil for browning

Carrots, peeled and cut into small bites. I use anywhere from two to five carrots, depending on what's in my fridge and my mood.

1 small onion, chopped

Tomato paste (original calls for two tablespoons, but I use less)

3 garlic cloves, minced (I usually use more, I like garlic)

1/2 teaspoon dried thyme

2 cups beef broth + 2 cups chicken broth

4 teaspoons soy sauce

1/2 cup barley

Directions

+ Boil water and begin cooking barley about 30 minutes before you start browning meat, if using regular barley like I do. I like mine more tender, so I cook it longer in total.

+ Season beef pieces with salt and pepper, heat oil in medium pan over medium-high heat. I use my 3-quart Dutch oven. Brown beef on all sides, transfer to bowl.

+ Add carrots and onions to fat left in pan and cook about 8 minutes, until they've started to brown. Add in garlic, thyme, tomato paste and cook about one minute.

+ Pour in broth and soy sauce, scrape bits from bottom of pot and stir in the beef and accumulated juices. Stir in barley and bring to simmer. Cover and cook for about an hour or until barley reaches your preferred level of doneness. 

I'm constantly tweaking recipes, so I might update this as a I perfect it, but if you try it and find helpful hints, feel free to share! It's perfect for snowy nights like the one we're having here now in Great Falls. It's late for snow to finally kick in here, but I'm a little bit okay with it.

It's not likely to be good for my efforts to get back in shape, but I'm on a baking bender.

There's been a lot of experimentation going on in our kitchen and the oven that I thought was too much for us has certainly been earning it's keep. Of course, now we wish we'd bought the bigger one, with another set of burners and a double oven. Someday.

Until then, I'll keep making messes in my kitchen and improving my skills.

Why I love baking so much, I'm not really sure, since I'm not particularly fond of measuring anything.

But there's something about heading into the kitchen first thing in the morning, making a cup of coffee and then mixing up something delicious.

A tasty baked good, whether it be a warm cookie, a muffin, coffee cake, whatever, has some kind of cozy, homey feeling to it. And being able to make that for myself and for others is a kind of fulfillment all on its own.

Lately, I've been repeating a few of my favorite recipes to perfect them and am planning on working up to hard things like macarons.

Obviously there's skill and technique involved, but there's also a simplicity to baking that results in something utterly delicious and it's some kind of nourishment for the soul.

It's also one of my favorite activities to share with girlfriends on the weekends, especially during the colder months. We're planning a holiday baking party/cookie swap and it's probably one of our best ideas yet.

That said, I've been meaning to bake all week and haven't quite gotten to it yet. But, today, I'm on a date with my oven.

Likely menu items? My current go-tos: Blueberry Buckle Coffeecake that I add cranberries to (photo at the top) and these delicious cookies from America's Test Kitchen that I'm working on perfecting, photo below. The coffeecake is a huge hit with city cops and firefighters and the cookies have been pretty popular too, though they haven't turned out particularly chewy each time I've make them. Pumpkin bread is also a definite, that's a popular one that even served as sustenance to cops while waiting on a bad guy to come out of hiding during a stakeout. So obviously, it's a winner.

Baking requires some patience and practice, but unlike skating, it generally doesn't involve bodily injury when I fail.

Worst case scenario, I waste a bunch of flour and sugar, which isn't ideal, but far from disastrous. Though the pantry is crammed with baking ingredients now, except for when M polishes off a bag of chocolate chips I was saving for the next batch of cookies.

Just looking at these photos is making me hungry, so I think I'm going to hop back into the kitchen and get to baking.

And in case you're looking for a holiday baking movie, I recommend A Cookie Cutter Christmas from Hallmark. It's adorable and fun background entertainment while baking,

In between tearing our house apart, teaching kittens to use the litter box and other assorted grownup things, like going to work, I've been trying to carve out time for reading.

Or at the very least being better about picking up a book when I have a few minutes of downtime, like sitting outside waiting for the dogs to do their business, or waiting on new recipes to finish baking in the oven.

This one by Dan Barber had been haunting me for about a year. It's great, it just took me forever to finish since it's dense and packed with historical, scientific and other intellectual goodness.

But I am proud to say I finally finished it a few weeks ago and just this morning finished another book I was reading for a work project.

Barber's book was eye-opening to me to start thinking more about modern agricultural processes and our food economy. His argument centers on the idea that there's more to supporting good food than just buying from local farmers. It has to do with the type of farming practices their using, scale, seed varieties, soil health and what's sustainable. That's an oversimplification of course and there's things I don't entirely understand yet or necessarily agree with the author on, but it's certainly a good read for anyone interested in the future of food.

So, I figured it was time for another book list since the last one is more than a year old and I've acquired a bunch of books since then.

Sidenote, I discovered ThriftBooks.com and it's been dangerous. Same goes for the local Hastings going out of business, every time I drive by, I find myself inside and walking out with an armful of books.

Here's a few others I've finished and have on tap.

+I'm working on Made From Scratch by Jenna Woginrich. It's a pretty quick and easy read. I skipped over some sections on things like getting started with chickens since I've already scratched that off my bucket list.

+Hit by a Farm by Catherine Friend. This was a pretty easy and super entertaining read about two women becoming sheep farmers. I loved it so much, I bought her other books too.

+Just Food: Where Locavores Get it Wrong and How We Can Truly Eat Responsibly by James McWilliams. I only just moved this one to the top of the pile, we'll see if I stick to that or grab something else from the pile next time I want to read something. But I'm definitely curious in the subject matter.

+The $64 Tomato by William Alexander about a guy trying to grow the perfect backyard garden.

+A whole other stack of books on city planning issues and nuclear weapons, because I am a city and military reporter who happens to be a major nerd. But I won't include those just yet unless you're interested.

Now it's well past my bedtime and I've got a boatload of reading to do! What are you reading these days?

Us, that's who!

Demolition work has begun again in the basement, first with the bathroom then we'll move on to the bedroom down there.

M is planning to redo pipes and electrical so he wants to clear space for that, but it speeds up the need for me to decide what I want to do with the space.

This bathroom will change shape most likely and the shower will certainly be redone. Oh and yes, that window will be repaired, that was a quick fix to cracked glass when it was negative temperatures.

Can't say I'm sure about what I want for this bathroom, but maybe something like this. Or maybe this. Gosh, I don't know.

But that carpet has got.to.go. As soon as possible.

Last week, we had a dumpster delivered to clean out the shop and for the basement demolition too.

That space will eventually become M's garage and shop and possibly space for my wool/yarn operation. Once we get it cleaned out and fixed up, obviously.

We're still deciding what to do in the house and M has been working on plans for radiant heat, so he's been working on future layouts, and conversations like, Should we move the basement stairs?

One day, guys, this house is going to be amazing. Until then, we'll be over here knocking down walls.

M asks me that almost every day now.

I'm still not really a cat person, but these kittens are so stinkin' adorable.

Meet Silver Belle, the grey one, and either Millie or Nellie Bly for the black and white one. I'm still deciding.

We're down to just the two kittens, plus Kitty Witty, yeah we never did really name the stray that adopted us last year.

Their mama and three siblings went to live as barn cats for one of M's coworkers. The two I liked the most are still here, even though M doesn't think we need both, I just can't decided which one I'd like more, so they remain.

These two are pretty rambunctious so I'm hoping they learn to be mousers and hunt for themselves like Kitty Witty, who is a mouse hunting machine.

There were feathers all over the garage the other night, so somebody caught a bird, just not sure who.

The plan is for these to all be outdoor cats who help keep the rodent and pest population under control, but also for them to be friendly, so I play with them, okay I can't lie, I totally cuddle them a least a few days a week. That's usually when M says something like, "I thought you didn't like cats."

We're hoping they can at least learn the civilized art of the litter box versus making a mess of our garage and back deck. Wouldn't that be grand?

They're almost two months old now, so they'll be getting fixed soon too. Hopefully we'll be able to take them to the Humane Society's spay/neuter clinic so we don't have to shell out a pretty penny to take care of cats we didn't ask for, though I'm partial to them, but really, it's a public service to help keep our own cat population from exploding.

So for now, kitten cuddles and mayhem, and me deciding on a name for the black and white one. Thoughts?

They say a cluttered space is a cluttered mind and while I'm not sure that's true, I've been feeling smothered by the clutter lately.

Yes, I've said this many times before, but luckily, I'm making some more progress on that front.

How?

I'll tell you.

+ Unfollowing things on social media like a boss. It's not that I'm not interested, or don't like whatever account, or think they have lovely photos and crafts and food and interior designs. It's that I'm literally losing my mind with sensory overload. I'm trying to renovate and design a house and a farm and garden and do my job and be a normal human and I can't make decisions on what kind of kitchen I want because I'm overwhelmed with options. So, I spent a considerable amount of time last weekend going through my feeds and unfollowing anything and everything that wasn't necessary for work or didn't truly interest me or wasn't someone I knew in real life. It's an ongoing process, but I felt oddly accomplished by reducing my feeds by a collective thousands.

+ Closet cleanout. I spent one weekend weeding through closets, drawers, Rubbermaid bins and wherever else I had clothes stashed and many a giant pile that I shipped off the ThredUp. They didn't take everything, but a weight felt lifted clearing out those items I hadn't worn, likely won't ever wear and what simply doesn't fit. More to come on that front because I still have too many clothes, shoes, accessories when I'm a genuine creature of habit and live for my jeans, flannel shirts and Ked's right now.

+ Reading. I subscribe to too many magazines and though I've unsubscribed to a few in the last year, the piles are unending. I'm a journalist, who eats and pays the mortgage based on other people subscribing to my paper so it's doubly hard for me to unsubscribe to things, but I'm just not capable of reading all the magazines I get in a month in a timely fashion. So every few months, I sit on the floor with a giant pile and read Time, Real Simple, Afar, County Living and whatever else I'm getting and recycle what I can, keep a few I want for reference and I might donate some to the newly opened homeless veterans home to give them some good reading material that has essentially turned my coffee table into a massive fire hazard.

+ Pile purge. We have huge piles of mail, catalogs, letters, notes, bills, forms, what have  you and it's making me nuts. Most of it has been relegated to the office now, but I've been making an effort each week to go through the pile of mail on the kitchen counter and either dealing with it or tossing it. Same goes for other piles in the house, though some just get moved around, there has been forward motion. I'll take it.

+ Making decisions. Part of the clutter problem comes from avoiding deciding about things, like will I ever wear those shoes again. I'm 33 years old. I might not like to admit it, but I know myself well enough to know that no, I am never going to wear those 4-inch wedge heels again, no matter how classy they are, and if I do, I'll hate myself the whole time for how uncomfortable they are. That simple decision makes it easier to toss them in the next ThredUp bag or send them on their way to a local consignment shop.

Since the house is still in mega renovation phase, nothing really has a home and we have no real organization and that is definitely making me nuts and contributing to my "of course I need that Dollar Store bowl I haven't used in five years but have been carting around the country since college, because maybe it will fit in with whatever kitchen design I finally settle on and we finally, finally build."

Upcoming solution to this madness, girl friends coming over for wine to help me weed through the closet more thoroughly, tossing what doesn't fit, doesn't flatter or serve some purpose and building a simple wardrobe I actually love.

Also, same girlfriends, one of whom wants to be an interior designer in a next career, will be invited over to help me brainstorm ideas and then make decisions on what I want this house to look like. A house that will likely still be cluttered, but will be full of things I love, free of stress of my unruly closet, not dictated by my social media feed, smelling like the baked things I'm learning to perfect and full of friends, fun and love.

Last week, a grassfire started in a field not too far from us.

The same area had burned the week before and by mid-afternoon, the fire was out.

Or so everyone thought.

Around 5:30 p.m., just as I was getting ready to leave the office, a few of us looked out the window and noticed it looked like the apocalypse had come to Great Falls.

Most of us had noticed the smoky smell but at first thought someone had burned the popcorn again (seriously, how hard is this people? Just hit the popcorn button and it's perfect every time. Every. Single. Time.)

Then we realized something was wrong.

Winds had shifted, a thunderstorm blew in causing the fire to pick back up, fast and wild.

Pretty quickly, the fire moved toward the city limits, coming within yards of a densely populated neighborhood and some blocks were evacuated.

Once that end was under control, it had sparked again on the northern end, which was moving toward us.

When it was all done, the fire ended up coming just about as far north as us, but stayed to the west by a few miles.

I'd planned to leave the office that day by 5:05 p.m., was ready to walk out by about 5:35 p.m., but ended up there until 9:30 p.m. when the incident was largely over.

Since that day, we've noticed some puffs of black smoke in a nearby field, which had been burned. The fire isn't considered completely contained until we get more rain and every puff of smoke makes me nervous.

One bit of smoke flared up during a major thunderstorm the other night, which included lots of lightning and high winds, and I kept my eye on that until I fell asleep. I noticed another bit of smoke this afternoon, just as high winds were blowing through the area.

For the most part, everything here is fine, but our fields are dry and little stands between us and the area that burned but more fields of dried grass.

Last week's fire was much scarier for those in its quickly changing path, but it was a reminder for us of how easily it could happen to us.

Wild fires and grass fires are major factors during Montana summers and there's been several significant ones since my first visit here in 2012.

It's a reality of life here and in the western U.S. Right now, there's a large fire raging in Hamilton, Montana, the town where we got our first batch of chickens, and it's forcing evacuations and threatening homes.

But as much as it's always a possibility, it's been one of those things that happens over there, or in the mountains or out in the county (yeah, yeah I live in the county). Maybe it's just like everything else when it won't happen to you until it does.

After the fire, I talked to the city fire chief and emergency manager about ways to prepare for fires and how to take care of yourself in an emergency when help might not get there in time for stories that ran in the paper.

Then I came home and realized we didn't have a detailed plan either.

Though, I've already pitched to M that we get rafts so in case of a tornado we can climb down into the cistern. Obviously we can tread water or float, the rafts are for the dogs. Of course.

That's how my logic works.

M nixed the raft idea.

As a kid, I took emergency planning to heart and had emergency kits in the basement that include water, batteries, flashlights, a radio and coloring books and crayons. My 10-year-old priorities were on the entertainment provided by electricity free coloring, but those kits came in handy on more than one occasion.

For whatever reason as an adult, that emergency planning went by the wayside, when really, I probably need it more.

All that said, my worst-case-scenario imagination is over here working overtime to think through possibilities, exit plans and to start putting together a new kit or go-bag as the fire chief calls it.

No one thought I was overly cautious when we spent a few hours in the basement in South Dakota as tornadoes blew through and I know I won't be upset with myself for being overly prepared if and when the worst-case-scenario becomes reality.

If anyone tells you farming, even on the tiny scale we're starting, is glamorous, they're lying.

Sure I love my chickens and my sheep and they're loads of fun, it can still be exhausting to care for them.

A few weeks ago, I was avoiding post hole digging or something of the like, so I went to muck out the sheep shelter instead. 

We'd laid hay on the ground previously but the sheep had worn it all down and made a mess, as sheep do, and scattered it all outside their shelter too. 

So in I went with the rake and spent longer than I planned raking it into piles so I could scoop it all into a bin for composting.

It might not seem like it, but large amounts of hay are heavy. The 60+ pound hay bales we bought last fall are tough for me to maneuver on my own and since we had at least one bale strewn all over the shelter, the piles made for many of my handfuls into the bin. 

The rake I was using probably wasn't the best suited for the job, but lesson learned. 

It was cool and I was trying to beat the coming storm, but I certainly worked up a sweat, made more lovely by dust, hay and sheep poop.

Once I hand scooped the hay into the bin, I dragged it out to the fence line, which I imaging was a bit comical since I almost dumped the whole thing while trying to pull the now 60+ pound bin over the lip in the shelter opening.

The sheep had of course run out, confused and annoyed by the disruption, but by then they were happily munching on grass. 

We had decided to try wood chips for bedding, so carrying six bags of pine chips that had water in the folds of the plastic wrapping added to my messy state of clothing.

By the time I was done, I was a soggy, filthy mess, covered in dust, wood chips, hay and sheep poop. Lovely.

One the walk back to deal with chickens, it started to rain.

It's always a bit dusty in the chicken barn and well, they poop everywhere, so never go in there without muck boots or ratty sneakers on.

When it's hot, it can get stuffy in there. We have plans for better ventilation for the birds, but mostly for us when we're working in there and being swarmed by birds.

They're mostly polite and docile birds, but they'll peck at anything. I learned the hard way they like shiny things so I don't wear my watch around the birds or they'll go for my hand when I'm filling their feeder or water. 

A few weeks ago one of them got me just above my boots and I was wearing shorts. That left a nice, big bruise for awhile. Thanks bird, thanks. 

Hauling water to the sheep and chickens isn't so bad, but never do it in work clothes when you're running late, or you'll just get pooped on and have to start all over.

Sometimes, you'll fall in a hole because you're off balance with the water buckets and on the lookout for snakes and not entirely looking where you're going. Of course, every.single.time. I walk back there, I'm on the lookout for snakes. Unless it's winter. It might be -20 and you're carrying a bucket of water into a cuts-to-the-bone wind, but there's no snakes.

Or you'll be lying in the dirt to stabilize a post and crouching in weird positions to staple the fencing to the post. Try as I might, I can't entirely escape fence duty.

Or you'll spend three hours on the tractor and not come close to finishing mowing the field, but be a roasted, dirty mess and a little high on diesel fumes.

Turns out M has headphones with a jack so I can plug my phone in and listen to music, or podcasts, or books on tape. I'm almost looking forward to my next day spent on the tractor. 

Just now I took another bucket of water to the sheep and Little Kitty followed me. Earlier I thought, surely a 10 pound cat won't scare 200+ pound sheep. Nope, they were definitely spooked and I was just praying, to anyone who would listen, that the sheep wouldn't bolt through the fence. It would be harder for them to pull that off now than the last time, but I really, really, really don't want to spend another day searching for a runaway sheep and dragging it home like that last time.

Between a full-time job, getting back into running, serving on some boards and life in general, I'm already a scattered mess, but I think the bloopers of us figuring out this minifarm thing keep me more grounded than anything. Luckily, our livelihoods don't depend on my not-so-green thumb or me learning how to clean, spin and dye that wool right away. 

It's a total blast with the farm animals and I wouldn't trade it, but there's nothing glamorous about it. At the end of every day, it's just our life and what we make of it.